Rushs 5 Truths

Rush Limbaugh's 35 Truths 
 
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 1. The greatest threat to humanity lies in the nuclear arsenal of the
Soviet Union.
 2. The single greatest threat to the free people of the world is
posed by the Soviet Union.
 3. Peace does not mean the removal of nuclear weapons. 
 4. Peace does not mean the absence of war. 
 5. War is not obsolete. 
 6. Ours is a world governed by the aggressive use of force. 
 7. There is only one way to eliminate nuclear weapons...use them. 
 8. Peace cannot be achieved by developing an understanding of or with
the Russian people.
 9. Americans opposing America is not always courageous. Sometimes it
is dangerous.
10. Communism kills. 
11. Neither the United States, nor anyone else imposes freedom on the
people of other nations. Freedom is not an imposition.
12. Freedom is God-given. It is the natural state to which humans yearn. 
13. To the Soviet Union, peace means the absence of opposition. 
14. To free people, peace means the absence of threat and the presence
of justice.
15. The peace movement in the United States, whether by accident or by
design, is pro- Communist.
16. The collective knowledge and wisdom of senior citizens is the most
valuable, yet untapped, resource our young people have.
17. The greatest football team in the history of civilization: the
Pittsburgh Steelers of 1975 to 1980.
18. There is no such thing as war atrocities. War IS an atrocity. 
19. Regardless of the pain, nostalgia only takes us to those pleasant
memories in our past.
20. There IS a god. 
21. Abortion is wrong. 
22. Morality is not defined by individual choice. 
23. Evolution cannot explain creation. 
24. Feminism was established so that unattractive women could have
access to the mainstream of society.
25. Love is the only emotion that cannot be controlled. 
26. The only difference between Mikhail Gorbachev and previous Soviet
leaders is that he is alive.
27. Soviet leaders are actually left wing dictators. 
28. Despite what they are teaching at the University of Missouri,
Abraham Lincoln saved this nation.
29. The wherever-they-happen-to-be Raiders will never be the team they
were as when they called Oakland home.
30. The United States will again go to war. 
31. To more and more people, a victorious United States is a sinful
United States.
32. This is frightening and ominous. 
33. There will always be poor people. 
34. This is not the fault of Malcolm Forbes, Ronald Reagan, Rush
Limbaugh, or any other rich person.
35. You should thank God for making you an American.
Spell Checked and reformatted by Nathan Mates (nathan@cco.caltech.edu)

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