***Welcome one and all to the Lepine Institute of Political Incorrectness!*** Here at the Institute, we don't believe in discrimination - we believe it's our God-given right to offend, insult, and degrade EVERYBODY, regardless of race, sex, sexual preference, or disability. (And I do mean God Given Right.) Remember, folks, it's your Constitutional Right to use words like "faggot" and "beaver" - that's what the First Amendment is for, isn't it? And what is it with all this "African American" and "Italian American" bullshit, anyway? Isn't just "American" good enough? Anyone would think the good ol' US of A was some kind of great big melting pot. Just remember, your biggest weapon in the fight against Political Correctness and other Tools of Satan is OVERSTATEMENT. That's right. Take every possible opportunity to ridicule the enemy, and make up bizarre claims about what they want. If a woman wants you to call her Ms Smith instead of Miss Smith, make it clear to the little darlin' that IT'S THE END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT! All feminists, civil rights activists and liberals want to destroy Our Way of Life! Never forget that COURTESY IS FOR COMMIES and EQUALITY IS UNAMERICAN! Just a few of the courses on offer: BASIC INSULTS 101 What is with these uppity cripples wanting to be called "disabled" - or worse yet, "disabled people"? They'll be wanting wheelchair ramps yet. And as for "Native Americans" - why, anyone would think they were here first. Remember, it's *your* right to decide what you'll call someone else, and if they get upset about, chant the School Mantra: "You're just being Politically Correct... You're just being Politically Correct..." (3 credit points - *plenty* of fieldwork) DETECTING POLITICAL CORRECTNESS It's a lousy job, but someone's gotta do it... the course starts with the history of PC, tracing it from those nasty liberals using it to describe their opponent's insincere lip-service to equality, right through to the modern usage to indicate ANY OPINION TO THE LEFT OF ATILLA THE HUN! Point out PC at any opportunity, preferably where you're not wanted (eg over on soc.women - an extension course on Baiting Feminists will fill you in on the finer points of Opening Doors for Ladies, Making Light of Rape, etc). (3 credit points - all the field work you want) REPETITIOUS JOKES 101 Perhaps the greatest weapon in the anti-PC repertoire. The course includes plenty of field work, including writing to the newspaper complaining about gender-inclusive language. Remember, "person" has the word "son" in it, so it should be "persibling", right? Haw haw haw! I must be the first person *ever* to think of that crack! Ha ha ha ha! (3 credit points - a bonus 3 credit points if your name is "Chapman" so you can claim the PC addicts would insist on calling you "Personperson".) [A great big :-) for the sarcasm challenged. Don't forget, if you want to abuse me for the PC commie pinko liberal hairy-legged radical lesbian separatist that I obviously am, post your follow-up to rec.humor.d] -- Kate Orman, SFLAaE/BS (Assoc.), SEFEB, RAAS, LAS, ALIA, FS47, BBGC This .sig is really Odo
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