Mark Beast

Mark Beast

The following parody of this famous net.loon was written by me.  It may be
copied and redistributed at will, provided that you do not modify, bend,
fold or mutilate it.  Please leave this header and my name with the file.

"Mystery Science Theatre 3000" and its characters are (c) Best Brains, Inc.
This is done without their permission, but I hope they like it.

No warranties of any kind, expressed or implied, are given.  Batteries not
included.  May not be suitable for small children.  Keep away from pets and
small farm animals.  Do not immerse in water.  Do not pass "Go", do not
collect $200.  Half price admission for fish.


John Mechalas

mechalas@expert.cc.purdue.edu
john@jg.cso.uiuc.edu
71673.3041@compuserve.com

--------------------------------- Cut here 8[ --------------------------------



                              MARK OF THE BEAST


Robert McElwaine writes:
]
]		    MARK-OF-THE-BEA$T bar-code$/scanner$

[Joel] Hey, look, guys!  He's replaced the letter "s" with a dollar
       sign again!
[Tom] What is this?  A running theme?
[Crow] It's more like "running old"

]	  ALL Christians are PROHIBITED by Revelation 14:9-11 from
]	  cooperating with

[Tom] dangerous subversives

]                          the "MARK-OF-THE-BEA$T" bar-code,

[Crow] They had bar codes in Biblical times?

]	  OCR-number, and magnetic-strip scanning systems,

[Joel] You know, I hear that magnetic strip scanners were very
       popular in those days.

]                                                          (as found in
]	  local libraries,

[Crow] What about distant libraries?

]                          supermarkets,

[Joel] regular markets

]                                        retail establishments,

[Tom] television studios and public swimming pools.

]                                                               etc.),
]	  which also THREATEN

[Crow] innocent civilians

]                             to SUBVERT Individual Privacy

[Tom] How can you have "group" privacy?

]                                                           and
]	  Freedom.

]	  The scanners can serve THE SAME CRIMINAL PURPOSE as the TV
]	  cameras in the book "1984"!

[Joel] You mean they can take pictures?
[Tom] What kind of film speed do you use with a UPC scanner?

]	  The UPC bar-codes are probably the most blatant form of

[Crow] black-and-white printing

]                                                                 the
]	  "MARK OF THE BEA$T" so far, with the "NUMBER OF THE BEA$T",
]	  666, ALREADY CODED INTO THEM.

[Tom] Hey, hey, hey!  Satan enters the *technology* age!
[Crow] I think he owns the patents on them.

]                                         Each of the so-called "guard
]	  patterns", pairs of thin lines spaced close together at the
]	  beginning, middle, and end of each full-length UPC bar-code,
]	  is IDENTICAL to one of the two codes for a 6.

[Joel] Oh, now, I think we're stretching things just a bit too much
       with this one.
[Tom] Like this is a *new* thing?

]	  WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

[Crow] 'Cause I'll be back!
[Joel] "I'm looking for Sarah Connor"

]	  UN-altered REPRODUCTION and DISSEMINATION of this IMPORTANT

[Tom] delusion

]	  Information is ENCOURAGED.

[Crow] But not recommended!

]                                  Robert E. McElwaine



1....2....3....4....5....6....G


[Joel] What do you think, sirs?





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