From cate3@netcom.com Thu Mar 23 09:59:56 1995
From: cate3@netcom.com
Subject: Life D.B
To: jwry.dli@netcom.com
Reply-to: cate3@netcom.com
---------------------------------------
Date: 20 Apr 94 11:38:25 PDT (Wednesday)
Subject: Life D.B
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations
----------------------------------------------------
From: "Scott Hibbetts" [scotth@cs.indiana.edu]
Don Geddis [geddis@CS.Stanford.EDU] wrote:
]"Are tectonic plates dishwashwer-safe?"
] -- Herb Caen, S. F. Chronicle, 8/12/93
"ABC News will be right back with the Great Quake of '89, brought
to you by Subaru."
-ABC News, October 18?, 1989. (The day after the quake, when the power
came back on in Milpitas where I lived.)
This quote comes back to me every time I hear the name Subaru or ABC News.
--------------------------
From: winterh@emunix.emich.edu (Twist)
Heh heh... The PBS short series, "The Civil War" has something very similar
at the end. I believe it says, "The Civil War was brought to you by
the Mobil Oil Corporation."
--------------------------
From: kebarnes@msuvx1.memst.edu
And then there's the ever-popular:
"Nature is made possible by a grant from the Corporation
for Public Broadcasting." :)
(At times it would seem so... That, and the Discovery Channel.)
--------------------------
From: tom@HAN.Paramax.COM (Tom Jewell)
]From cable last week
"We now present the conclusion of . . . The Never-ending Story"
--------------------------
From: reda@watnow.uwaterloo.ca (Reda Ezzat FAYEK)
Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing
to pay the price to make them come true.
--------------------------
From: cochran@spam.rtp.dg.com (A. Jing Hippy)
|Rude Awakenings #457: Nobody really cares what |
|your GPA was. |
--------------------------
From: jars@halcyon.com (Juan Rodriguez)
In article [628900025@peg.apc.org], [sgard@peg.apc.org] wrote:
]And can anyone explain why Einstein, a physicist, should be so relentlessly
]quoted today on any subject? I'm sure he would be horrified. It's the
]'prominent figure as guru' effect. Why not asked Michael Jacksona about war?
]Or Shirley McLean? Magic Johnson? Andrew Lloyd Weber? Lorena Bobbitt?
]Stephen Gard
Among other reasons, because Albert Einstein was smart and profound, and
the other you mention were (and, who know? Maybe still are) neither.
Also, Albert Einstein' person and work were of lasting interest; the others
you mention are not. In one more generation those others will be utterly
forgotten, even by those who might ever think of them now; even now they
are forgettable and unimportant.
--------------------------
From: beesley@cn.ecn.purdue.edu (Chad Christopher Beesley)
One of my favorite WWII quotes:
"Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give the signal."
- Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower
--------------------------
From: gascan@lsil.com (Bill Gascoyne)
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
MOHANDAS GANDHI (1869-1948)
Wherever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
HARRY S TRUMAN
The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain
occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive.
THOMAS JEFFERSON (1743-1826)
A con man looks for someone who wants something for nothing
and gives them nothing for something.
--------------------------
From: sgard@peg.apc.org
'The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers'.
King Henry VI, Part II, Act IV, sc2
--------------------------
From: jeff@trg.saic.com (Jeff Shepherd)
Do not become archivists of facts. Try to penetrate to the secret of their
occurrence, persistently search for the laws which govern them.
-- Ivan Pavlov
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
-- Kin Hubbard
--------------------------
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu ("[*] Not Joe Keane in disguise")
Subj: Re: CHESS quotes wanted!
``I don't believe in psychology. I believe in good moves.''
-- Bobby Fischer
--------------------------
Sender: news@boi.hp.com (Boise Site News Server)
Mark Twain's magnificent quote:
"God made man a little below the angels, and a little above the French."
--------------------------
From: rmr@acsu.buffalo.edu (Richard M. Romanowski)
"Procrastination is the root of sanity."
-me
--------------------------
From: mjd@saul.cis.upenn.edu (Mark-Jason Dominus)
]ematias@csri.toronto.edu (The Wind) writes:
] we picked up a large picturebook about chess. The very first page
] had a picture of a lawn, with the caption:
] "Chess is about as exciting as watching grass grow."
That would be _Every Great Chess Player was Once a Beginner_, by Byfield
and Orpin. The pictures of queens were all these terrible Wagnerian
opera types, big and bloodthirsty.
--------------------------
From: rls3@Ra.MsState.Edu (Roger L Smith)
Usenet is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read. -Joshua Heller
The Internet is mightier than the pen.
--------------------------
From: pyotr@chinook.halcyon.com (Peter D. Hampe)
Communicating on the net is like trying to drink from a fire hose
and talk to some one on a roller coaster while you stand on the ground.
A singer can break a glass with just the right note, but
the simpler way is to drop it on the floor.
--------------------------
From: beesley@cn.ecn.purdue.edu (Chad Christopher Beesley)
"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not "Eureka!", but "Hmmm, that's funny . . ." "
-- Isaac Asimov
--------------------------
From: iago@iastate.edu (Chad Aaron Buesing)
Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.
-- Woodrow Wilson --
Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted.
-- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow --
"A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all
humankind." -- Richard Dehmel
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The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
LBennett:El Segundo
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"If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to
get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that
netnews is far more addictive than cocaine." -- Rob Stampfli
--------------------------
"An old puzzle asks how a barometer can be used to measure the height of a
building. Answers range from dropping the instrument from the top and
measuring the time of its fall to giving it to the building's superintendent
in return for a look at the plans. A modern version of the puzzle asks how
a personal computer can balance a checkbook. An elegant solution is to sell
the machine and deposit the money." -- Jon Bentley, More Programming Pearls
--------------------------
"The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as
smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them halfway."
-- Bernard Avishai
--------------------------
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree,
is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals.
We cause accidents."
-- Nathaniel Borenstein
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The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
Nancy L. Crawford:WBST129
--------------------------
From: myong@flute.aix.calpoly.edu ()
Before the Fall, Hungarians used to joke about Soviet research into
genetic engineering. The Soviets were trying tocross a giraffe with
a cow. The new animal could eat in Budapest and be milked in Moscow.
--------------------------
From: fryt@pobox.upenn.edu (Miracle on 34th Street)
Here are a few quotes from former Philadelphia mayor Frank Rizzo, last of
the great "democratic machine" politicians. Her mayoral term (1971-1979)
was preceded by many years as Police Commissioner, and as a beat cop before
that.
"My police (say: pleece) force could invade Cuba and win."
"A conservative is a liberal who just got mugged."
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
krisna@cs.wisc.edu (Krishna Kunchithapadam)
--------------------------
From: grumpy@cbnewse.cb.att.com (Paul J Lucas)
Also a philosophy final exam: Define courage.
Student: This.
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The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
tonyp@cnvxla.convex.com (honey bunny)
--------------------------
From: grendel@camelot.bradley.edu (Alyosha Bourgea)
Subj: Mark Twain quotes
MARK TWAIN
----------
Crank - a man with a new idea until it succeeds.
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Methuselah lived to be 969 years old. You boys and girls will see more in the
next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
dani@netcom.com (Dani Zweig)
--------------------------
From: dvaughn@vax1.umkc.edu
Do unto others, just don't get caught.
-Anonymous.
Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's
useless.
-Thomas Edison.
`Weird' is a relative term, not an absolute.
-Baron Frank N. Furter.
--------------------------
From: msb@sq.sq.com (Mark Brader)
Subj: Re: Quotations about logic ???
Here are two from my signature quotes collection:
"He's suffering from Politicians' Logic."
"Something must be done, this is something, therefore we must do it."
-- From "Yes, Prime Minister" by Jonathan Lynn and Antony Jay
--------------------------
From: bmm2012@tamsun.tamu.edu (Brian Mcdaniel)
Subj: Re: Quotations about logic ???
A physicist visits a colleague and notice a horseshoe hanging on the wall
above the entrance. "Do you really believe that a horseshoe brings luck ?"
he asks. "No", replies the colleague,"but I've been told that it works
even if you don't believe in it"
-- Told by Niels Bohrs
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The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
Keith Hendrickson:omaha
--------------------------
From: kriman@acsu.buffalo.edu (Alfred M. Kriman)
William F. Buckley:
"I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the
first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than
to the faculty of Harvard University."
Edward Gibbon
"Dr. -- well remembered that he had a salary to receive, and only
forgot that he had a duty to perform."
[Autobiography]
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
Bill Mackiewicz [mutara@ccs.neu.edu]
--------------------------
From: jbruni@sfe.com (John R. Bruni)
The following was given to me by a USFS Marshall...it is attributed in its
entirety to one "Jack Neafsey." I have no idea who that is, and if anyone
else does please feel free to comment.
Laws to Remember
1. If you dance with a grizzly bear, you'd better let him lead. (The law
of "volunteering.")
2. When putting cheese in the mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
(The law of avoiding oversell.)
3. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. (The
know-when-to-quit law.)
4. Never accept a drink from a urologist. (The law of common sense.)
5. There are days when no matter which way you spit, it's upwind. (The
first law of reality.)
6. When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last. (The second law
of reality.)
7. Whatever it is that hits the fan, it will not be evenly distributed.
(The third law of reality.)
8. Never get into fights with ugly people. They have nothing to lose.
(The fourth law of reality.)
9. Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. (The fifth law of reality.)
10. Reality is a crutch for those who can't cope with fantasy. (The law of
goal-setting.)
Jack Neafsey
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
the anonymous sifter
--------------------------
From: faber@parmesan.cs.wisc.edu (Ted)
"As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand."
-- Josh Billings
"Do you believe in justice?"
"I don't believe it's a natural law, like gravity. I think you have to fight
for it." --- HELLBLAZER
"Never pray for justice, because you might get some." -- Margaret Atwood
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
watts@lams.msd.lmsc.lockheed.com (Robyn M Watts)
--------------------------
From: faber@parmesan.cs.wisc.edu (Ted)
"Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends.
People fall in love with the most appalling people. Take a cool, appraising
glance at his pals." -- Cynthia Heimel
"Love is like pi -- natural, irrational, and VERY important." --Lisa Hoffmann
"Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last
romance." -- Ocsar Wilde
--------------------------
From: vkw1000@cl.cam.ac.uk (V.K. Wilks)
My Dad'd company recently had some Quality Assurance Auditors in, generally
checking that the company is supplying products to high enough standards etc.
When they had gone, a poster appeared witht the slogan :
Arguing with a QA Auditor is like wrestling with a pig in mud -
After a while you realise the pig is enjoying it!
I thought this was rather a good quote - and I guess it could be changed to annoy
people from many other professions as well!
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The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
nickless@mcs.anl.gov (Bill Nickless)
--------------------------
'Planet Bog - pools of toxic chemicals burble under a choking atmosphere
of poisonous gases - but other than that it's not much like the earth.
- Calvin & Hobbes
--------------------------
Death? It's like being on holiday with a group of Germans.
-- Rimmer - Red Dwarf "The End"
--------------------------
"There was a point to this narrative, but it has presently escaped
the chronicler's mind." --Douglas Adams
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
neil@robots.ox.ac.uk
--------------------------
From: sc015c@uhura.cc.rochester.edu (Seth Cohen)
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
----------------------------------------------------
The following was sifted out of alt.quotations by:
Leigh Smith:XSIS
--------------------------
From: mrc@access2.digex.net (mark chartrand)
When composing correct limericks,
Keep in mind a neat couple of tricks:
If your rhyme won't survive
In the requisite five,
You can cheat and go on to
Line six.
--------------------------
From: rdippold@qualcomm.com (Ron "Asbestos" Dippold)
"After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal,
the school department is extremely pleased to announce the appointment
of David Steele to the post."
-- Barrington, RI superintendent of (public) schools
And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks
anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring
this uniformity up to the highest possible point. -- H.L. Mencken
It sometimes seems as though we were trying to combine the ideal of no
schools at all with the democratic ideal of schools for everybody by
having schools without education. -- Robert Maynard Hutchins
Public school is like going to the world's greatest restaurant and
being fed the menu.
Public Schools are the Collective Farms of Education.
--------------------------
From: faber@swiss.cs.wisc.edu (Ted)
"The major cause of accidents remains hunter error, Johnson says. And it's
hard to teach people not to be stupid."
-- The Capitol Times (a paper in Wisconsin)
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