Signs of Life [Part I] ---------------------- Above the entrance to a large office department: Please use your sixth sense: HUMOR On an executive's desk: Nobody's perfect. I'm the perfect example. On an executive's desk: Truth is a precious commodity and therefore should be used as sparingly as possible. --Mark Twain On a secretary's desk: Fact-finding beats fault-finding. At a health insurance office: Get our reliable health insurance. Don't make your doctor perform a wallectectomy. In a mechanics shop: An idealist: One who has both feet firmly planted in the air. In an executive's office: Sometimes silence is the best way to yell. In a sales conference room: Babe Ruth struck out 1213 times. On an office desk in a large business: They don't dare fire me. I'm always too far behind in my work. On an office wall: Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess. On the same office wall: One of the greatest labor-saving devices of today is tomorrow. In the window of a cleaning shop: QUALITY DRY CLEANERS-- Twenty-eight years on the same spot. Outside an auto muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming. Besides a dentist's office: Patient parking only. All others will be painfully extracted. Over a barn door: Agriculture is something like farming, only farming is doing it. On a New Hampshire septic tank truck: You make it, we take it. We rush so you can flush. You dump it, we pump it. The underside of life; get the truth from us. Signs observed by Eric W. Johnson: In a kitchen: If the icebox catches on fire, ring the towel. In a restaurant: Don't tip he waiters --it upsets them. Another eatery: Eat here --why go somewhere else to be cheated? Yet another food joint: Come in and eat before we both starve. At a store: In God we trust; all others pay cash. Another store: Credit extended to those over 80 if accompanied by their grandparents. Yet another store: Your face is good, but it won't go in the cash register. And a couple of beer joints: (1) We don't sell any beer on Sundays and mighty darn litle during the week. (2) Our beer contains vitamin P. Above the door of a physical therapy room in a nursing home in Olathe, Kansas: "Faith, Hope, and Therapy." In a science lab: Tragedy is the murder of a beautiful theory by a brutal gang of facts. In a science lab: The fewer the facts, the stronger the opinion. On a marriage counselor's door: Back in an hour. Don't fight. On a ski slope: Going beyond this point may result in death and/or loss of skiing privileges. At the entrance to a school administration building: Education will broaden a narrow mind, but there is no known cure for a big head. In a cemetery: No trespassing Violators will be haunted. Inscribed on a prison: Cease to do evil. Learn to do well. [George Bernard Shaw, who reported this sign, remarked that it was on the outside where the prisoners couldn't read it.].
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