Resume Openers

Resume Openers


Needing some filler for our student newspaper (deadline approacheth), some
friends and I hashed out this partial list.  Thought it was funny but could
use some addition.

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Things Not To Put In A Resume Cover Letter
==========================================

1.  "I'm really keen to work for you - I hear the drugs are good."

2.  "I regret that I have no references.  Unfortunately every company I
     have worked for has since closed down."

3.  "I'll kill myself if I don't get a job."

4.  "I know where you live."

5.  Any sentence beginning with "I was recently acquitted."

6.  "I'm really tall, so I think I'd be well suited to this job."

7.  Happy faces.

8.  "By the way, I understand that you have unmarried daughters."

9.  "My turn-ons include..."

10. "I'm confident that I'll get this job.  God told me."

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I'd appreciate any additions, so send 'em along.

I'll post a compiled list in a few weeks.

Thanks,

Dennis.

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