Marketing

Marketing

From jcarter@ddt.eng.uc.edu Thu Mar 18 10:43:11 1993
From: jcarter@ddt.eng.uc.edu (James Carter)
To: nathan@cco.caltech.edu
X-Envelope-To: nathan@cco.caltech.edu
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7BIT


      			SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY
                                        or
             DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW


ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous versions.

ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management doesn't understand it.

BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.

NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous version.

DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string budget.

EXCLUSIVE -- We're the only ones who have the documentation.

FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.

FUTURISTIC  -- It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.

HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.

IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.

MAINTENANCE FREE -- It's impossible to fix.

MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.

PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta test.

REVOLUTIONARY -- The disk drives go round and round.

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -- We'll send you another copy if it fails.

STOCK ITEM -- We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.

UNMATCHED -- It's almost as good as the competition.

UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -- Nothing ever ran this slow before.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- We finally got one to work.




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