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Date: Wed, 3 Nov 1993 02:09:00 +0000
To: adamsd@nic.cerf.net, john@rawson.demon.co.uk,
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From: Fearghas McKay [fearghas@challis.demon.co.uk
Subject: FW: (fwd) hotel soap
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From: Fergus Sullivan (ITL Temp) [t-fergus@microsoft.com
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Date: Tue, 2 Nov 93 18:49:31 +0100
Subject: FW: (fwd) hotel soap
Cc: fergush@microsoft.com, garretc@microsoft.com,
netmail!GLOFTUS@lib1.tcd.ie, netmail!JACOGAN@vax1.tcd.ie,
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(4 pages of forwarded addressed deleted)
----------
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank you,
S. Berman
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Room 635,
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower
soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out
of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you
should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left
today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3
soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Maid -- I hope you are my regular maid.
Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the
little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found
you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet.
I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my
own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on
the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.
Please remove them.
S. Berman
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps
which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps
which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish
where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for
your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps
which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new
check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in
last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.
Your regular maid, Dotty
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you
called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid
service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will
accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any
future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal
attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.
Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for
business at 745 AM and don't get back before 530 or 6PM. That's the
reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty.
I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little
bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a
new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my
medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the
bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little
bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your
room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance,
please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,
Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my
room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and
had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap
problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room
since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time
they service a room. The situation will be rectified
immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder Assistant Manager
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last
night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little
bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you
realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath
size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial. S. Berman
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them
removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your
soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays
which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive
daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere
Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had
returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3
daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel
issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory
which I left in your room. Elaine Carmen Housekeeper
- -
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap
inventory. As of today I possess:
- - - -- On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4
and 1 stack of 2.
- - - -- On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of
3.
- - - -- On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4
hotel-size
Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- - - -- Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack
of 2.
- - - -- In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- - - -- On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- - - -- On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.
Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the
stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that
stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that
my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent
spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased
another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel
vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings. S. Berman
------- End of Forwarded Message
--
Nathan Clark
NC6967@conrad.appstate.edu
Doing Time In
Boone, North Carolina
All quiet on the yeastern front!
--
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Arnold Greyling, PSE LT4 Internet: grey@cent.gud.siemens.co.at
Siemens AG Austria Phone: (+43-1) 601 71 - 5952
Gudrunstrasse 11 Fax: (+43-1) 601 71 - 6252
A-1100 Wien
----- End Included Message -----
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Douglas Adams
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