Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids?? A: Because she's DEAD! Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a stucco wall. Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color? A: Corduroy. Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt? A. She was bobbing for french fries. Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? A: She answer the iron. Q: How did she burn the other side of her face? A: They called back. Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They left the plunger in. Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet? A: Her dog was blind too. Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A. she needs the other to moan with. Q. How did she burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron Q. What did she do when she fell down the well? A. Screamed her fingers off Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff? A. She was wearing mittens Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants? A. So you can read her lips Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'. Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? A. Wind it up and it walks into walls. Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)? A. Helen Keller moaning Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world? A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help. What did HK's parent's do to punish her? 1. Rearranged the furniture 2. Left the plunger in the toilet bowl 3. Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner 4. Washed her hands with soap 5. Gave her bird-seed to read. Spell Checked and reformatted by Nathan Mates (nathan@cco.caltech.edu)
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