SOCKS CODE v1.0
So, you think you like socks, eh? Well, the first thing you
must do is admit to yourself that you like socks. Whatever
you're doing, get up, and announce to the world, "I WEAR SOCKS!"
Then take off your socks, or if you can't bear to,
Socks Codes are prefixed by the string "SC1.0:". If included
in your signature file, they must push its size past the
McQuary Limit. If necessary, add a blank line.
W: White socks
W+++ I own only white socks, so they always match.
W++ I wear white socks, unless I have a good reason.
W+ I wear white socks often.
W I own white socks.
W- I only wear white socks around the house.
W-- White socks are for those with no imagination.
W--- White socks are for people with no soul.
SS: Sport Stripes
S++ Stripes are good, they aid the matching process.
S+ I prefer sport striped socks.
S I own socks with sport stripes.
S- Sport stripes are pretentious.
S-- Stripes are evil, they hinder the matching process.
C: Colored socks
C+++ My sock drawer is more colorful than
a Crayola Caddy.
C++ I wear colored socks even when I don't
have any that match.
C+ I wear colored socks outside the house,
but I only have a few colors.
C I own colored socks.
C- I'm annoyed with my colored socks.
C-- There's no point to colored socks.
C--- I'm a Sock Nazi.
T: Those socks with the tread on the bottom.
T++++ I use them as athletic shoes.
T+++ I use them as actual socks.
T++ I use them as slippers.
T+ I got some for Christmas. I like them.
T I've heard of them.
T- I got some for Christmas. Haven't
unweapped them.
T-- What's the point, the stupid treads
always flip to the other side anyway.
T--- I'd rather fill one with Grape Nuts and
beat myself to death with it rather than
wear them.
L: Sock length
If your sock length changes with the climate, use a / to
separate the summer and winter. For example: L++/- indicates
high socks during the summer and low socks during the winter.
L++++ Above my knees
....
L Up to the shin
....
L---- Barely above the heel.
C: Socks the cat
C+++ I've enclosed catnip in my letters to Socks.
C++ When a news story on Socks comes on, I watch it.
C+ I'm pro-Socks.
C I know who Socks is.
C- I'm anti-Socks.
C-- When a news story on Socks comes on, I click it.
C--- I've enclosed aspirin in my letters to Socks.
Any ideas, mail them to me, nickb@netzone.com, and I will carefully consider,
refine, and discard your suggestion.
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