This is a compilation of sayings that preceed each chapter of
_Wizardry_Compiled_, the sequel to _Wizard's_Bane_, by Rick Cook.
The novel tells the adventures of a Silicon Valley hacker in a
land where "Magic is real, unless declared integer."
The following exchange (which takes place in a tent at a tournament
of the Society of Chronogical Anachronisms) is memorable:
"We need people with experience."
"I've got experience," he [Thorkil du Libre Dragonwatcher, a
teenage hacker looking to fill a job] protested. "I've worked
in TOS 1.4, AmigaDOS and ProDOS."
Jerry, who didn't consider a computer a computer unless it ran at
least BSD Unix, winced. "Those are game machines."
As is the existence of Emac, a gnome-line creature (daemon) used to
edit spells, with a voice-input interface & mid-air output of glowing
green letters...
The novel is interesting, but I wouldn`t say "Run out and get it" but
rather "If you come across it, give it a read". Some of the sayings
won't mean much here because they're out of context.
So, enjoy!
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PART I: LOAD TIME
1.
You can always tell a good idea by the enemies it makes.
- programmer's axiom
2.
Everything always takes twice as long and costs four times as much as
you planned.
- programmer's axiom
3.
It's never the technical stuff that gets you in trouble. It's the
personalities and the politics.
- programmer's sayings
4.
Those who can't do, teach.
- article of faith among students
And vice-versa.
- programmer's addendum to students' article of faith
5.
Living with a programmer is easy. All you need is the patience of a
saint.
- programmer's wives' saying
6.
Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who
strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the Universe which
strives to produce bigger idiots.
- software engineers' saying
So far, the Universe is winning.
- applications programmers' saying
7.
The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a
soldering iron, a hardware type with a program patch and a user with
an idea.
- computer saying
8.
You can't do just one thing.
- Campbell's Law of everything
9.
Friends come an go, but enemies accumulate.
- Murphy's Law #1024
and sometimes the the real trick is telling the difference.
- Murphy's Law #1024a
10.
Whenever you use a jump, be sure of your destination address.
- programmer's saying
PART II: LINK TIME
11.
Always secure your files. You never know who's lurking about.
- programmer's saying
12.
Never argue with a redhaired witch. It wastes your breath and only
delays the inevitable.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
13.
If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will
happen all day long.
- California saying
To you or the toad.
- Niven's restatement of California saying
--well, most of the time, anyway...
- programmer's caveat to Niven's restatement of California saying
PART III: COMPILE
14.
You never find out the whole story until after you've signed the
contract.
- programmer's saying
15.
A jump gone awry is one of the hardest bugs to locate.
- programmer's saying
16.
You can't unscramble an egg.
- old saying
You can if you're powerful enough.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
17.
Magic is real, unless declared integer.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
18.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
- Clarke's law
Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
- Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law
Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged
demostration.
- programmer's restatement of Murphy's reformulation of Clarke's law
19.
Putting twice as many programmers on a project that is late will make
it twice as late.
- Brooks' law of programming projects
20.
Never give a sucker an even break.
- W. C. Fields
Especially not if he's a big mean sucker.
- the collected sayings of Wiz Zumwalt
PART IV: RUN TIME
21.
Sleep? Isn't that a completely inadequate substitute for caffine?
- programmer's saying
22.
Good client relations are the key to a successful project.
- consultants' saying
23. At some time in the project you're going to have to break down
and finally define the problem.
- programmer's saying
24.
Customer support is an art, not a science.
- marketing saying
So are most other forms of torture.
- programmers' response
25.
Programming is like pinball. The reward for doing it is the
opportunity of doing it again.
- programmers' saying
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