SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY
or
DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW
ALL NEW -- The software is not compatible with previous versions.
ADVANCED DESIGN -- Upper management doesn't understand it.
BREAKTHROUGH -- It nearly booted on the first try.
NEW -- It comes in different colors from the previous version.
DESIGN SIMPLICITY -- It was developed on a shoe-string budget.
EXCLUSIVE -- We're the only ones who have the documentation.
FIELD TESTED -- Manufacturing doesn't have a test system.
FOOLPROOF OPERATION -- All parameters are hard coded.
FUTURISTIC -- It only runs on the next-generation supercomputer.
HIGH ACCURACY -- All the directories compare.
IT'S HERE AT LAST -- We've released a 26-week project in 48 weeks.
MAINTENANCE FREE -- It's impossible to fix.
MEETS QUALITY STANDARDS -- It compiles without errors.
PERFORMANCE PROVEN -- It works through beta test.
REVOLUTIONARY -- The disk drives go round and round.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED -- We'll send you another copy if it fails.
STOCK ITEM -- We shipped it once before, and we can do it again, probably.
UNMATCHED -- It's almost as good as the competition.
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE -- Nothing ever ran this slow before.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT -- We finally got one to work.
___
X OLX 2.1 TD X Hey Michael, PeeWee returned your call.
* Origin: Dark Knight's Table (1:282/31)
Scott Anderson writes
;] SOFTWARE ENGINEERING GLOSSARY
;] or
;] DEFINING COMPUTER TERMS FROM A "MARKETING" POINT OF VIEW
;]
;] [munch]
OPEN SYSTEMS -- Anything with our logo on it!
Vendor dependent variations of the above definitions of open systems:
USL -- Pay us for the license - & it's open.
OSF -- Anything IBM& DEC can agree on must be open
Sun -- Give me an `s', give me a `p', give me an `a', give me an `r', give
me a `c' - what have you got? OPEN!
Microsoft -- Open Systems? Isn't that a laxative?
IBM - Open systems? We have 13 of them. Which one do you want?
--
Suv
____________________________________________________________________
The only thing Open about Open - the definition!
____________________________________________________________________
Back to my Computer Jokes Page
Back to my humor page
Back to my home page