The originator of the ignorant users thread, and a bona fide computer geek, now brings you: ------------------------------------------------------------ What Computer Geeks say to their Coprocessers: I wish to uncompress you over *all* my disk space. Oh little processer of my desire! Be the hard drive of my dreams. I want all of our functions to be read/write. Living with you is like virtual reality. We can make beautiful .wav files together. May we never have any bad CRC's. I output gibberish as you tap my keypad. Before you, I was a PC without a power outlet. Let's interface our hardware. Press any key to continue. May our communication always be synchronous. Don't worry, the first couple of times it's always Abort, Retry, Fail. I'll always have cache for you. Our LoveRoutines link perfectly. Ever since I met you, I've been looping a recursive subroutine. No kinky Windows stuff. I think we should increase our bandwidth. Every once and a while two numbers meet, link, and become forever binary. Well, if that's how you feel, I guess it's time to upgrade. Oh, you found out about my backups, didn't you? Trust me, I'm user friendly. Well, now you've gone and killed my process. You can't exit yet, you still have stopped jobs! Phone for you, I think it's your motherboard. What they say: What they mean: bonding experience StarCon Melee early supper 4 am real food coke and pizza entertainment UNIX novices second language English primary language C dead language Basic ancient history Intel 8088 reasonable expensive cramped 340 meg semi-intelligent Macintosh artificial intelligence users Signs of a Computer Geek: Bleary eyes, stooped shoulders. Powerful machine with the case continually off. Desk littered with empty Coke bottles. Brags constantly about his/her Mandelbrot generator. Chats with SIMM modules. Knows more adjectives for an IO bus than for a member of the opposite sex. Declines outings with friends to read UNIX manuals. Still in awe over the degauss button. Running more operating systems than he has hard disk partitions. Has to get special phone rates to afford his modem connection charges. Spotless computer, trashy enviroment. Drool marks on computer advertisements. ----------------------------------------------------------- Daniel Lemberg This isn't a sig, it's a forgery. No flames on spelling, remember English is my second language :)
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