Project Management

Path: athena.cs.uga.edu!emory!wupost!uunet!looking!funny-request
From: devine@cookie.enet.dec.com (Bob Devine 03-Jul-1991 1425)
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
Subject: project management
Keywords: chuckle
Message-ID: [S2e1.600e@looking.on.ca]
Date: 24 Aug 91 10:30:04 GMT
Lines: 52
Approved: funny@looking.on.ca


	Project Managers
	----------------

 If you get in my way, I'll kill you!
	- ideal project manager

 If you get in my way, you'll kill me!
	- somewhat less than ideal project manager

 If I get in my way, I'll kill you!
	- somewhat misguided project manager

 If I get in your way, I'll kill you!
	- A tough m. f. project manager
	  (eats glass, live cats, etc.)

 If get kill in will way I you.
	-dyslexic, functionally illiterate project manager

 I am the way! Kill me if you can!
	-messianic project manager

 Get away, I'll kill us all!
	-suicidal project manager

 If you kill me, I'll get in your way.
	-thoughtful but ineffective project manager

 If I kill you I'll get in your way.
	-project manager who has trouble dealing with the obvious

 If a you getta ina my way, I gonna breaka you arm.
	-project manager from New York

 I am quite confident that there is nothing in the way,
  so no one will get killed.
	-project manager who is about to get in big trouble

 If you kill me, so what?  If you get in my way, who cares?
	-weak, uninspired, lackluster project manager

 If I kill me, you'll get your way.
	-pragmatic project manager

 Kill me, it's the only way.
	-every project manager to date.
--
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