From dwivian Wed Dec 4 13:55:44 1991 Return-Path: [dwivian] Received: from ada.stat.uga.edu by marie.stat.uga.edu (4.1/SMI-4.1) id AA08939; Wed, 4 Dec 91 13:55:44 EST From: dwivian (Dwivian Unterschreiber) Message-Id: [9112041855.AA08939@marie.stat.uga.edu] Subject: no subject (file transmission) To: david (David Gundlach) Date: Wed, 4 Dec 91 13:55:36 EST X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] Status: OR ]From athena.cs.uga.edu!emory!ogicse!uwm.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uunet!looking!funny-request Fri Oct 18 16:10:17 EDT 1991 I recently finished up teaching Comp 4, the computer literacy course here at UNC, during a compressed summer session. Comp 4 is an introductory class that assumes NO knowledge of computers among its students, and believe me when I say that this was often the case. The class was great fun to teach, and one of the facets that made it interesting (day-in and day-out) was the wealth of new knowledge that the students imparted to me on tests and examinations. I thought that I'd share some of these nuggets with you. My comments are in the standard C delimiters (/* and */). *Your* comments are encouraged. Here goes: Bacchus invented FORTRAN. /* I knew FORTRAN was old, and that it may have been designed under the influence of alcohol, but... */ There are three kinds of program statements: sequence, repetition, and seduction. There are two types of graphics: vector and rascal. /* Otay... */ Programming languages have specifictions. /* Obviously this student has dealt with a few standards. */ Macs are compatible with each other. /* Imagine the alternative: "What's your Mac's serial number? We'll go back to the ware- house and get your software." */ Doctors use computers to create a three demential picture of a person's brain. /* Is this classic, or what? */ One kind of a hostile computer program is a Trojan. C is a logical programming language. /* [rim shot] */ Heuristics (from the French heure, "hour") limit the amount of time spent executing something. [When using heuristics] it shouldn't take longer than an hour to do something. /* An absolutely terrific "false cognate". */ Having the computer automatically fill in images for animation is called "spleening". /* Derivation: most likely "splines" + "tweening". */ One method of computer security is a phone line. /* She qualified it later by adding, "You have to know the number." */ Video games are examples of fault-tolerant systems. On one test, I gave the students some abbreviations and asked them to tell me what they stood for. You won't believe the creativity of a student in a test situation. For example, one of the abbreviations was "fax", which *really* stands for "facsimile". However, various Comp 4'ers said it stood for: Fiber-optic Aided Xeroxing Frequency Automatic X-rays /* and my favorite... */ Fast A** Xeroxing The students also had to hand in term papers, and these were rife with interes- ting tidbits. I've clipped a few, quoted verbatim: "The worst thing the Mac has to offer, is that cooperative multitasking is not available to be used." "... footnotes present an interesting problem, which may be solvable by Hypercad." /* I assume the last term is the newest rage -- a free-form database for designers. */ "...Linda, a blind girl, was able to attend public school due to the aid of a speaking computer that taught her the basic fundmamentals [sic] of grammar and spelling." /* Linda may want to lend her computer out... */ "The program is manufactured by Quantel, a Silicon Valley company located in Clearwater, Florida." /* A *long* valley, as my roommate put it. */ "At the beginning of each season [Edwin] Moses teats himself on computerized weight machines..." /* Ouch! */ Hope you enjoyed all these. If you've had similar experiences, I'd love to hear about them! Cheers, Kev @ UNC -- Selected by Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke (jokes ONLY) to funny@looking.ON.CA Please! No copyrighted stuff. Also no "mouse balls," dyslexic agnostics, Iraqi driver's ed, Administratium, strings in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
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