Catt

     /* ---------- "CATT" ---------- */ 
     
      Name: CATT - Completely Autonomous Touring Tester 
     
      Manufactured by: MOMCATT - Makers Of Many CATTs 
      Anytown USA (Offices around the World) 
     
     FEATURES 
     
      Low Power CPU 
      Self Portable Operation 
      Dual Video Inputs 
      Dual Audio Inputs 
      Audio Output 
      Main Input Multiplexed with Error Output 
      Auto Search for Input Data 
      Auto Search for Output Bin 
      Auto Learn Program in ROM 
      Auto Sleep When Not in Use 
      Wide Operating Temperature Range 
      Self Cleaning 
     
     Production Details 
     
     After basic construction, the unit undergoes 6 weeks of ROM 
     programming and burn-in testing.  MOMCATT will typically reject 
     inferior products, but sometimes people will salvage rejected units.  
     These factory seconds may or may not perform the same as units that 
     pass the standard acceptance testing.  All of the previously listed 
     features are installed during this interval.  Since MOMCATT uses many 
     different suppliers, there is wide variation between the individual 
     units.  Some of the component matching may be so poor that a feature 
     may not even work. Fortunately, these units are so cheap that 
     replacement is never difficult. 
     
     Set up and Use 
     
     When acquiring a CATT, it is best to visit MOMCATT and see what units 
     are currently available.  The consumer should examine each unit to 
     verify that all I/O channels are operational.  The user should also 
     look for obvious bugs in or on the system.  Although these bugs are 
     usually trivial and easily removed, they are indicative of the 
     production environment at the local MOMCATT outlet.  When a CATT has 
     been selected, it should be put in a suitable packing case for 
     transport to the new operating environment.  Failure to properly 
     package a CATT may result in damage to the unit or injury to the user. 
^L
     
     When the CATT is first brought up, it should be in a quiet room, with 
     only the primary user(s) present.  The CATT should be taken out of the 
     shipping crate and the self learning program should be started by 
     showing the CATT the output bin.  The next step is to show the CATT 
     the input bin(s).  Some CATTs need more help getting started than 
     other CATTs. If the user already has one CATT and is bringing up a 
     second, it may be possible to download the new CATT from the older 
     more experienced CATT.  In either case, the new CATT should be in self 
     learn mode most of the first day or two.  When the CATT is new, it 
     also has a tendency to sleep() when the learn buffer overflows.  THIS 
     IS NORMAL.  When the learn buffer fills, the CATT will go to sleep(), 
     and the DMA system will take over and store the new data in permanent 
     memory.  In a few days, the CATT will be freely interacting with the 
     operating environment.  The user should be aware that the CATT is 
     still too new to be allowed out of the home.  Full portability comes 
     later, after more extended burn-in (some users never let the CATT out, 
     this has some advantages, such as longer unit life).  You should also 
     know that if a CATT gets used to going out, you will have a hard time 
     keeping it inside for extended periods of time.  One other caution, if 
     allowed out, a CATT may try to port itself to the other side of the 
     street.  Some CATTs have been known to take fatal errors during this 
     process, errors which are never recoverable. 
     
     Your CATT should have it's own system name.  This name will have to be 
     repeated for the CATT many times so that the learn program reads it 
     correctly.  This will be important later on when you want to get the 
     CATT's attention.  Another way to get the CATT's attention is to boot 
     it.  While this is a very effective method, some users feel that too 
     much booting is akin to abusing the system.  If the CATT knows it's 
     system name, you can cause the CATT to boot itself by shouting the 
     name at it. 
     
     Many users want to play games on their system.  CATTs play games best 
     when they are young.  Older CATTs seem to lose their flexibility, and 
     their joy-sticks lose calibration too.  Some of the better CATT games 
     are: FETCH, MIRROR, STRING, SQRT, JUMP, and CHASE.  FETCH is played 
     the same as with the K-9 system, the only difference is that the 
     object code must be smaller. MIRROR is played by placing the CATT in 
     front of a mirror and watching it attempt to parse itself.  
     Occasionally, the CATT will become alarm()ed by the mirror image, 
     panic(), and run away.  Rebooting will get it back up. STRING is a 
     game where the CATT parses the end of a data string that is dragged 
     along the floor.  SQRT is a game for when the CATT does something that 
     you do not like, you use the well known aversion to water as a form of 
     negative feedback.  JUMP is a game like STRING, only the data string 
     is moved through the air and the CATT reaches new heights of parsing.  
     JUMP may also be played with a stairway or CATT pole.  In these 
     versions, the CATT jumps down instead of up.  Some users may combine 
     the two games for even more action.  CHASE is a game that is played 
     with two CATTs or a CATT and a K-9 system.  In this game, each system 
     takes a turn as the data, while the other tries to parse it.  Many 
     other games are also possible. Some of these are: SING, and DANCE.  
     These games rely on the CATT's desire for fishy input data.  By 
     tempting the CATT with fishy data, you can extract many wonderful 
     audio outputs. 
^L
     
     Maintenance 
     
     CATTs usually require little maintenance.  Every year they should be 
     taken to a VET (Vastly Experienced Technician) for PM.  The VET will 
     check the I/O ports and the operating hardware.  Any problems that 
     arise between visits should also be taken to the VET.  VET fees are 
     usually reasonable. Some CATTs are periodically plagued by heat 
     problems.  A trip to the VET can fix this problem permanently. 
     
     Conclusions 
     
     As CATTs get older they generally become more docile.  The learn 
     program becomes more efficient and they sometimes get too smart for 
     their own good. Some CATTs even start to watch television (encourage 
     them to watch NOVA, it is good for them, esp.  shows about birds and 
     spiders).  Another good thing for CATTs is tropical fish (yes, it is 
     hard to believe, but they do start hobbies).  Most CATTs also like to 
     have a few toys.  This is OK until they rip them open to see what is 
     inside.  A properly cared for CATT can give you years of steady 
     service.  Many users like the first so much that they will get a 
     second or even third CATT.  Most people really don't need all the 
     extra capacity, but they enjoy the more complex games that can be run.  
     I'd like to hear from other CATT users if they have any special 
     application programs available.  If there is enough interest maybe we 
     can start a news group called net.micro.catt. 
     



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