Final Exams

 			 Various Final Exams

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.

Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.

Art: Given one eight-count box of crayons and three sheets of notebook
paper, recreate the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Skin tones should
be true to life.

Biology: Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human
culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier,
with special attention to its probable effect on the English
Parliamentary System circa 1750. Prove your thesis.

Chemistry: You must identify a poison sample which you will find at
your lab table. All necessary equipment has been provided. There are
two beakers at your desk, one of which holds the antidote. If the
wrong substance is used, it causes instant death. You may begin as
soon as the professor injects you with a sample of the poison. (We
feel this will give you an incentive to find the correct answer.)

Civil Engineering: This is a practical test of your design and
building skills. With the boxes of toothpicks and glue present, build
a platform that will wupport your weight when you and your platform
are suspended over a vat of nitric acid.

Computer Science: Write a fifth-generation computer language. Using
this language, write a computer program to finish the rest of this
exam for you.

Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national
debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas:
Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and the Wave Theory of Light. Outline
a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this method from all
possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of
view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

Electrical Engineering: You will be placed in a nuclear reactor and
given a partial copy of the electrical layout. The electrical system
has been tampered with. You have seventeen minutes to find the problem
and correct it before the reactor melts down.

Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been
placed on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed
in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to
the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary. Be prepared to
justify your decision.

Epistemology: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity
of your stand.

General Knowledge: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

History: Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the
present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on its
Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

Mathematics: Derive the Euler-Cauchy equations using only a
straightedge and compass. Discuss in detail the role these equations
had on mathematical analysis in Europe during the 1800s.

Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze,
and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you
work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

Metaphysics: Describe in detail the probably nature of life after
death. Test your hypothesis.

Music: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute
and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought. Estimate its
significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of
thought.

Physchology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations
of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II,
Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's
work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

Physics: Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an
evaluation of the impact of the development of mathematics on science.

Political Science: There is a red telephone on the desk beside
you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political
effects if any.

Public Speaking: 2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the
classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or
Greek.

Religion: Perform a miracle. Creativity will be judged.

Sociology: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany
the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

Extra Credit: Define the universe, and give three examples.

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